Today, I felt sad. I found myself sitting at the table during recess and while I was eating, I realized there was a feeling inside I hadn't felt in a long time. Perhaps I've constantly been running away from it, maybe I've been living in self-denial, but this feeling is so horrible. It's a kind of loneliness, I suppose. I'm just not feeling the way I feel nowadays. These days, it just hits me how I should or shouldn't have done certain things and I guess you could call 'em regrets. Also, I think it's the after effects of thinking too much/talking too much to certain people that has led me to understand how bitching about people NEVER gets you anywhere. Karma will come back to you one day, and by then you'll be wondering and moping around wondering why life is so unfair, etcetc, but it's just a result of what you did. Anyway, gnna stop thinking too much and change my mindset and views on certain things, so yup! (:
Oh and EDS was great. Even though I lament and complain about the stupid yoga and stretching exercises Miss Suping makes us do on Mondays, I still love my CCA. It makes me feel alive.
I guess you could say I'm facing one of the problems teens face at this age. It's like....a turning point where you finally know who you are, what you want, and where you want to be. It's quite interesting actually, to get to know yourself, heheh.
Anyhow, back to the point, EDS was superduper funtastic. LOL, I just used the word funtastic didn't I? /:
HMMM. We didn't do planking or those dreaded stuffs, but instead acted out some scenes in the devise play! Grouped with Su li, Kenny, Xiaoxuan and JamieSim, so yeah, our group was really fun, hehe :D
what I'm really yearning for now, a get away from this place.
Shit, I just read through the whole post and I realized how sad this whole post is D:
But it did help cheer me up in a way. Never mind, I shall continue talking about me, myself and I, for today. Just need to get loads of things off my mind, it's running out of space. Sheesh, I wnna do something so so great in this life, not those huge accomplishments or discoveries like Einstein/Newton/Lee Kwan Yew, but something special and something I love doing.
I don't wnna be cooped up in some tiny office/stuck to a table all day doing nothing but typing things in the computer, etcetc. I want to do something I like doing. Then again, it's quite impossible now, considering that what you like doing = not enough $$$ earned to get you through life.
Life works in such a weird, screwed up way.
I promise you Chiyin, one day you'll see yourself blogging not about school, homework, tests or exams, but your experiences in travelling to all the places you want to go to. And, someday you'll actually love what you're doing. (:
Alright then, time for this fat ass here to retreat to her bed to sleep! Time to dream about lots and lots of things! Goodnight everyoneeee ;D
