Didn't wnna blog today, but ohwell, I'm back here, hehe. Today wasn't a good day, it was kinda horrible... I don't really know what's wrong with me these days, feeling super emotional and stuffs. Wah I really really hate it when I feel like this, all I wnna do is curl into a ball and sleep for weeks. )':
But still, there were a couple of things to be happy about though! Shall list 'em all out now-
1. Changed back to the old seating arrangement, sitting with loraine and yifeng again!
2. Made a new friend from 3B
3. Talked to someone with a nice voice though it was quite awkward
4. Lit test turned out to be pretty fine
5. Heard people playing the piano outside the auditorium
6. Chinese grade didn't fail me ;)
So I guess that's all to be happy about hahaha. Okay this isn't really working out, I'm still sad, boohoo. The best part about today was experiencing a shock from my chinese grade, LOL. Took the chinese paper just yesterday and I was feeling quite confident when it ended, but ohwell, the results were a disaster.
37/80
The first thing I said when I saw the total marks was, "WAHPIANG" hahahhaha
I couldn't help it, it came right out of my mouth ): So anyway, I sat down and wallowed in my sorrows for quite some time, and I even considered giving up on Chinese completely, sighhh. But thennnn the class list came round and when I saw a "B" next to my name, I was like "OMG IT'S A B!!!! IT'S A B!!!"
Now, try to picture me jumping up and down screaming in delight. Nah obviously Chiyin didn't jump up and down, I've matured over the years ok! HAHA. But there was a huuugee difference in my emotions for the rest of the day, whee. It's really a blessing in disguise that I didn't sit for the real test itself *kowtows*
Oh speaking of the test that I took yesterday, I seriously felt like some reject when LSH told me to get my chair and table out of the class to sit for it. She was really angry with me, but I think it had something to do with a bad day on her part :>
Ok so enough of Chinese! I fell asleep during Bio today and when I woke up, Charis told me my head was moving about the whole time ): So embarrassing!! I should've changed position and buried my head instead!
Took Lit test with Jasmine after school at about 2:45pm, hehehs. We were really scared for the test and we sat outside 3A mugging The Crucible.
Jasmine: "Ohno ohno, but Proctor's my life, I can't do without him! PROCTORRRR"
She's so amusing, I swear! Started the test 15 minutes late cos we didn't have any foolscap and both Sangeetha and some teacher beside her were like, "You've got to be kidding me, you come for a test without writing paper?!" Well, can't blame us cos we thought we'd be taking the test on the special paper used only for exams. Meh
But the test was fine, managed to finish it 15 minutes earlier, so I had time to check! #achievementunlocked ;)
Was crapping out whatever I remembered though, oooopsieee.Haha, then had EDS all the way till 8++ cos there was the emotional talk too.
Then Yongzi's daddy dropped me off at Bedok and I bussed all the way home ;) I like her dad, he's so friendly! But I had trouble conversing with him, cos he was speaking to me in chinese and I was like, "Huh? Um..." *turns to Yongzi for help*
The bus ride was super long but I loved it. Plugged in my earpiece and stared out of the window all the way. Felt the urge to just take the bus all the way to some unknown destination, hahahaha ;)
But no I didn't do that. It's gnna be on my "to-do list" from now on ^^
Thought about loads of things the whole time and I realized I'm really quite a horrible person at sorting out my feelings. I don't even know how to deal with this matter alone and it's so stupid cos I can't tell anyone. I'm not even supposed to know about it and so I have to go on and pretend nothing's changed when in fact, every single thing has.
I'm trying so so hard not to hurt anyone but it's so tough and this whole thing is just....wrong. It's so dumb I can't even. I don't even know if what I'm doing is right but I really hope it is.Everything's so awkward and I'm trying so so so so hard not to let it affect me but it's really starting to disgust me.. ):
Okay byebye, I'm gnna sleep through today and watch "Mirror Mirror" tomorrow. Byebye!
And LORAINE CHOO, jyss for PLTC ok! I have 100000000000000000% faith in you, be strong alright? Everything will be worth it in the end.
Ψ <- this reminds me of a triton hehehe.
