hi I am currently having a mass disney sing-a-long session all by myself with my bro sitting beside me giving me weird looks from time to time but!!! I KNOW ALMOST ALL ZE LYRICS BRING IT ON
anyway, i've been wanting to upload the rome/chiangmai/japan pics here and do a (long) blogpost on the trips but all the pics are in my dad's computer right now :-( also, the post is going to take such a long time to complete because I really want to jot down everything I remember, and even how I felt in certain places. i feel like it's slipping away slowly but ooooOOOOOmg I have so much schoolwork to complete & I guess u can say I am Stressed with a capital S but I am still not getting any shit done
I did some math today and yesterday but it's not even anything much to be proud of lmao
SIGH
ugh
ok it's 1:25am I told my bro I was going in at 1:30 so that leaves me with 5 more minutes..... so anyway I am supposed to go out with alicia and ruiting soon (cannot wait but yet feeling worried bc going out means no time to do work)!!! & alicia is supposedly coming to stay on the 31st of dec so we can celebrate the end of 2014 and usher in the new (SIGH) year tgt BUT i am also supposed to count down with marcus kennedy and clarence oh no :-(((
and also, i am supposed to meet F4 when yvonnemoh comes back from bkk........ i have also not told barbara that I am back from japan ;_;
and i stepped on the weighing scale today bc I feel heavier and well I gained a good 1.5kg (inserts suitable emoji bc not sure how exactly to feel) Was expecting myself to gain more than that bc the amount of FOOD i've been stuffing into my mouth for the past 4 weeks is more than double the usual amount i eat, but ugh!!!!!!! sometimes it got so bad bc I felt so full that the sight of food made me queasy but heeeey hold up before u know it it's time to eat again
and also, i really hate the thought of 2015 and having to go back to that place called 10 tanjong rhu where i have to worry for myself and worry all night about work work work grades cca and all that shit. I don't even care if i sound like a spoilt brat anymore man
on to happier things, i had a 100 minutes phone call with alicia 2 nights ago and the only reason why i know it lasted for 100 minutes was bc she tweeted it haha. But i loved every minute of it, i love talking to her and I love her so so much. HHAHA it's so odd i usually don't type I love you bc it gives me goosebumps and i am actl considering deleting it but........ n_n!! i really cannot CANNOT stand it when people type bb/bby/baby bahahha just.. no
so we talked about me working after a levels and us going overseas tgt (this girl wants to go to london/ europe with me, like, the 2 of us) but I told her the first trip tgt has to be somewhere super near like msia or genting HAHAHA bc i am very bad at directions and most of the time i just follow blindly. And then I reminded her of the time ruiting, her and i made a promise to have a combined wedding where we'll all walk down the aisle tgt and it'll be super grand and whatnot (grand as in, barbie world grand, not abalone/ 100 tables grand HAHA) but i told her i'll be breaking that promise cos no way I'm gna wait for them HHAHA. I'll be left on the shelf by then and I want to get married!!!!!
and then we talked about..... having kids hahahaha :p we discussed and realized that by the time she has her 1st child i'll (hopefully) have my 2nd, so we can go shopping for baby clothes and baby toys and EVERYTHING together!!!! And we'll have healthy food and all that tgt and the most impt thing is we'll get homes that's at least on the same line so our kids can have sleepovers anytime they want :---))) actually we've talked about this so many times especially when we were younger but the other day i was just telling her, it's funny how we used to think the future was so easy, so bright and so hopeful. I mean, it's still hopeful, but only part of it is, to me, and it's really kinda sad because.... as a child, i never once thought about the hurdles and obstacles i'd have to get through to the future i have always dreamed of.
omg i can feel the seriousness kicking in so no!!! this is not going to be another 1am saddening blogpost bc I am actually happy and excited to type everything that i'm thinking of now :-)
(speaking of which, i don't know if i should change url bc so many more people are reading this and i don't want it bc it means sharing my thoughts with people who i'd rather keep my feelings/ dreams hidden from) It's just... the reason why I even removed the link from all my sm platforms was so i could be truthful and honest to myself. So i've got no idea how people still find it, and if u are reading it then how did you stumble across this page????????????
anyway, if u are a friend, please try to be understanding and accepting of whatever views i pen down here. i need and want a platform where i can vent/ pen down things that make me feel upset or really happy and this place holds plenty of memories so it's still the best medium in my opinion. So if any of my words may surprise or scare you bc i am not how i seem to be in reality, then please forgive me in advance.. because i am really going to be raw and honest here. :-(
please understand!
and if you are a stranger..... hi. I am Chiyin and basically........well. Please be kind(er) and not be too quick to pass any judgement you may have. :-)
and also! MOST IMPORTANTLY, especially if you are a friend, please please please don't ever talk about what you read here to me in real life bc it'll be really awkward and also because whatever that's here is somewhat private and mine. So no matter how upset or sad i may be, pls don't talk to me about it!!! Also bc I wouldn't want to know who reads my blog because then i'd subconsciously filter my words and i really truly don't want that to happen
alright, it's 1:55am now, I AM GOING TO ATTEMPT TO SLEEP
thank you for reading this last part, stranger/ friend :-)
