Where do I stand? I feel like I'm not scared for A levels yet. Okay, sometimes I feel fear and anxiety but most of the time it comes at night and I sleep it off so it disappears. Occasionally it seeps into my mind when I'm wasting my free periods away (an example would be today when I "wasted" 3 whole hours talking to my friends). Inverted commas because I genuinely enjoyed catching up with them especially since they were people I love. But my conscience keeps pricking me and I keep thinking of how I shouldn't be wasting time, precious, precious time.
What am I going to do? Where am I supposed to go? Where am I going to be in 5 years time?
I really don't have a subject I love. I don't feel passionate for any subject and if I had the choice to drop all of them I'd gladly do so. Okay, I do have a choice but we all know I won't and can't. I have to do well. I have to get into university and do well again. Well enough to secure a good future. Good enough to lead a good life.
??????????????????????
times like these I feel fear again
