stressed stressed stressed and tired. It's 2:07 am, I'm rushing my eom out because tomorrow is the deadline and Mr Leo just told me today that I had to change everything even though he gave me the green light for my previous proposal. I cried just now, broke down again, so weak so weak. My thoughts are incoherent now but it doesn't really matter anyway. I've been feeling the immense urge to say the f word these days (and I've actually said it out loud a couple of times in this week alone) but I'm just going to type it here because....because it was quite therapeutic when I said that word. So, fuck.
Anyway, school is a chore, I hate waking up to go to school, I hate being in school, and I'm starting to detest the people there. They suffocate me so much. I don't like the vegetarian stall auntie too. The one with the ponytail who's always squinting. The amount of rice she gives is puny (puny sounds odd but it's 2:12 am and I can't think of any other word.) I spent 2 minutes thinking whether to type the f word out because it's the f word.
Argh I'm so tired and yet I feel so useless -- in terms of studies and in terms of character. Really need to find my voice again. I don't dare to speak up for myself even when I'm being used as a punching bag and I keep it all in and fucking cry when my mom talks to me about it. What a weakling.
