Sunlight leaks through the gaps in the canopy of leaves above us and dances off our skin that is glistening with sweat. We walk, matching each other's pace, letting the other person lead when the trail narrows. We move in unison - one, two, three, one, two, three. I notice the crunching of pebbles and the rustling of dried leaves as we take each step, and I notice the continuous chirping of birds in the background. I remind myself to breathe in your presence. It is easier now - my heart is no longer banging against my ribcage and the butterflies have left my belly.
The air carries a touch of playfulness with it as the occasional light breeze toys with my hair, and we are thrown into a new world altogether, away from the cluster of buildings that bear the sign "Modernisation". We walk to a lake with water so clear we can see the submerged water plants that I tell you look "so soft, it's as if you can jump and sink into it". You launch into conversation about how your primary three kids are always asking you about water plants - duckweed, another plant that starts with p and is poisonous.. and a couple more. You ask if I write, and I end up putting myself down. I tell you yes, but no, I do not think I am very good at it because there are so many of my friends who write poetry so well. It is true, but now that I am thinking about it I should have had more confidence.
We walk, we climb, all the time filling the air with our voices as we engage in conversation, this time no longer bound within the limits of the Internet. It is comfortable and the silence that seeps through at times is not stress inducing (thankfully). We walk through a hole and onto trespassed grounds, and I marvel at the sight my eyes are greeted with -- the one I once saw through the screen of my computer. The sun's rays reflect off the surface of the waters and they glitter - I take it all in.
I do not remember what we talk about. Too many steps, too many spoken words. I do not dare to look you in the eye initially, but it gets better as we speak. I notice your kind eyes more than your low voice that you were so concerned about. But then I cannot help but notice the differences in our personalities. Followers and leaders, dreamers and realists, finding meaning and the lack of it, et cetera. You have more friends than real friends, and I am the complete opposite. You say you are an extrovert, but I notice the tinge of loneliness in your words when you tell me that you like to surround yourself with people, that you do not like being at home because there isn't anyone there, that you like the morning because that's when "the whole town is awake". I notice the hint of introvert in you that perhaps you do not see or acknowledge. Time alone is time well spent - we agree on that. You enjoy going out and eating alone, and you do not like crowds or loud music -- just like me. You lose yourself in books as I do, but we like different genres. We talk about what annoys us and you seem to have plenty. I cannot help but think that you are a less positive person and harsher than I. You enjoy hot drinks, warm dessert and you do not like ice-cream. Once again, opposites. We oscillate between being similar and being completely different.
I like it most when your eyes light up when we find something similar - low tolerance for chilli, love for sweet potatoes and broccoli. I like it second most when you laugh and say "are you giving up?" after watching several attempts of me trying to poke a hole through my hard boiled egg to crack it. I like it third most when you share your dessert with me, turn your head, eye me and ask "are you sure anot????" when I taste it for the first time and say I like it. (Yes I did!)
How strange. That two complete strangers are thrust into a common space. I wonder what you think of this boring, insecure and not-so-confident-introverted girl. I wish I pulled today off with more oomph (confidence!) but they told me to be me and this is me in my true form with someone I need time to warm up to.
Regardless, thank you for today.
