Forget.

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh x 100.

Time needs to reach a standstill, I'm finding it harder and harder to juggle all the things I need to do. And they aren't things that I can choose whether or not to do, because I need to complete all of them.. The worst thing is, my weekends are as good as gone because I have things to do then.

1) Bio essay test (Friday)

2) Math quiz (Monday)

3) Math level test (Tuesday)

4) Journey's End role play (Friday)

5) Lit Up (Less than 20 days from now)

6) Homework (everyday kinda thing?)

7) Revision (it's high time I do something about it)

And then there's

8) School (For 5 consecutive days in a stupid week)

9) Sleep D:

Honestly if you ask me, I think number 9 is on the top of my "worry list" because I've been getting less and less sleep nowadays, its so hard to stay awake in class. And the Journey's End thing is on Friday but we haven't even bloody started and yeah ok shoot me now. All those things I need to do are only part of the actual things I really need to do, am I even making sense right now? 

And there's another problem, I've been changing a lot around some people these few days. Not physically, but emotionally. Ughh, why do we always have to quarrel?????????????? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Its so hard you know, I need someone to support me in this yet with every passing day I feel like I'm losing you. Why now why why why. I have like, tons of questions in my head, but who can answer all of them??

This completely sucks ok, and I'm aware I brought all these upon myself because well, I could have revised during the previous weekends or public holidays, but to be honest the whole time I'm just thinking about Lit Up. And my Math, which is just hopeless.

I don't even see how Functions or their respective graphs can benefit me in the future.

Plus I'm not even exaggerating, these few days I've been doing this ^ every night. Even now, my eyelids are on the verge of closing but there's this huge war raging inside of me. Its like jefbjqgwjsafjoeioh24aoghkesbkjdfs ajkb klankanerkpbneapbmenbetknbejtnbknwkbndkfgnbkgn 

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I need my fairy godmother to whisk me away to someplace beautiful ): Or if she doesn't wnna do that, I'm completely fine. Just, you know, help me with my list of "to-do"s and my studies and Litup and homework and basically just.... every single thing going on in my life as of right now.

I don't want to hear another "What should I do now?" or "Now how?" or "Chiyin, what are we going to do now?" for a while.

Give me a break pleaseeee ):

I feel like a complete mess/failure now, why has things gotten so bad? And I feel like I can't turn to anyone for help. Its as if I've got to be a pillar of strength to some people when I'm about to collapse from fatigue myself. Is this normal? Because I'm pretty sure I've not felt this way for a long time.

& the worst thing is, I'm starting to lose you in this mess, when the most ironic thing is that I need you to be here with me. I just don't understand. I really don't. Don't I deserve to know??