^_^

Hello all :-) I am back!!!!! (kinda, not really, but still on the way)

I just had a major self-reflection session in the shower just now. (not at the mirror) Okay just so you know, I spend close to an hour every night in the toilet haha, please don't ask me how :p Just to add on, I shower for an average of 7 to 10 minutes at most so I'm not one of those people who are responsible for wasting our nation's water supply. (you're prolly going "tmi chiyin, tmi" now but i've no idea why I started on my bathing habits lol)

~ back to the point ~

this is probably going to turn out really long but I decided to do this before I lost the feels, and also to update this old place before it turns out all sappy and forgotten. So... here goes :)

Recently, I've been complaining a lot about how so many people are slowly changing into people they are not, and in a more direct manner, they're impressing others and behaving like someone they're not simply to climb the social ladder. Maybe it's because I'm a rather sensitive person, but it bothers me because some are my friends and they don't see it but I do and others do too. While I acknowledge the fact that change is constant and is somewhat happening or will happen to everyone, I hate (yes, I hate) the fact that they're becoming pretentious people who care so much about what others think about them so much so that they're losing themselves, and I'm losing them too. I find it harder to connect and agree with them, I start seeing their flaws, I start detesting them for behaving this way, and then I get angry with myself for lacking the guts to be direct and I hate myself for being a bad friend because after all, true friends accept you for who you are - flaws, strengths, and everything else.

I still haven't found a solution to feeling this way though.
But that's okay, I'll figure it out soon :P

On a more positive note (and starting on the whole reason of this post), I feel like I've just stepped off a rollercoaster of emotions. For the whole of the past month and perhaps even before that, I feel like I was plunged into some hole of sadness or something, I have NO idea. And then just a week ago I decided to get my shit together and stop feeling this way. Which is also why I started the post with "I'm back!!!" And then I added the "kinda" and "in a way", because well although I haven't reached the stage of being the person I was a year ago, I'm getting closer :-)))

so here's the story haha. It's going to be really raw and wow I don't think I'll ever have the courage to type something so honest but wellllll here's to impulse :-)

For my entire life up to sometime in year 3, I never knew the existence of abs. Believe it or not. I knew of 6 pecs but I always thought only guys could get them and never had I imagined girls could or were expected (in a way) to have abs in order to be called "toned"/ "fit"/ "hot". I always thought being fit and healthy meant eating salad, jogging and exercising in general. I never bothered going to the gym or thinking about the gym because to me, it was for a place for tough, intimidating looking guys to be at. Swimming was always about having fun, splashing around with my cousins pretending we were mermaids - it was never once associated with losing weight. I had reaaaallly bad eating habits though, but it never occurred to me that it was abnormal or not allowed because I was pretty happy and proud (haha) of my ginormous appetite. I used to eat upsized meals at Macs in primary school almost 2x a week after school, I could down 7 of the triple kit kat bars after school, and I could finish the entire pack of "wang wang" biscuits in just one sitting. In secondary school, I used to eat 1 egg mayo with cheese/ 1 chicken pie, 1 hot dog with tomato + mayo + cheese, 1 ice lemon tea and sometimes 1 cup of ice-cream at the cafe for lunch/ recess. Please don't ask me how i managed to do that in 30 minutes, I look back and wonder HOW too. And then there were the Sundays @ Parkway Parade - I'd have one mos burger meal + 1 extra fish burger because I looooooved their fish burgers and I still think their fish burgers beat macs' fillet-o-fish HANDS DOWN. Haha.

now before this turns out into some massive recollection of the past, just to let you know, I kinda planned what to type out while showering so I was really really excited after bathing and immediately switched on the comp but now it feels like I'm just typing whatever comes into my head first, I'm terribly sorry if it ends up being incoherent :p

So in year 3, I started being aware of how girls wanted abs, skipped meals etcetc but it never really bothered me because I didn't know enough to care. I didn't disagree with them or support them - I minded my own business. I had the "oh it's ok you can do whatever you want as long as you're happy with it" mindset and never did losing weight cross my mind. Here's another evidence to show how incredibly ignorant or innocent (you decide) I was - I had no idea that girls had different waist sizes. I always thought we were built to be proportionate, so if you were taller you'd naturally have broader shoulders and a bigger body and I thought it was natural. Choosing a bigger sized pair of shorts off the shelf simply meant comfier shorts, and never did it occur to me that it meant a thicker waist. I always thought every girl had a belly and no one had a completely flat one because that only existed on dolls and girls on posters. So yup.

I guess you could say I was the biggest fan of food. I loved it and whatever I liked in particular, I had 2 portions of it. No joke.

Then in year 4 I started becoming more aware about insecurities and I developed this mental shield that I'd never ever feel insecure about myself. I was headstrong and stubborn about my views that girls should not be defined by their weight and that beauty was defined by the way one carried oneself, one's morals, and the way one treated others. I was a pretty confident individual - I hated society's stereotypes and I made sure I never changed myself simply to fit into the category of "pretty".

Then things kinda changed during the Nov/ Dec holidays. My bro is a rugby player in his school and he lost a lot of weight through training. My dad used to be a weightlifter and he was reeaaaallly sporty back in his teenage days. My mum was a tracker/ ODAC member and she was involved in modelling too. I have no idea what happened to the genes haha. So the only ones who led the major sedentary lifestyles AKA sloth lives were my current p5 bro and I. (Maybe my aunt too but she's excused because she's rather careful about what she eats) During the holidays, my mum would go to the park to exercise daily and my dad would jog around the entire estate coming back dripping in sweat when he was around and not overseas. He's does karate too, so within a short while he lost weight and became fitter. My mum became more toned, I guess. But in my eyes she's always been slim so.... I'm not really sure haha. Anyway (I'M RLY FOND OF TELLING GRANDMOTHER STORIES HAHAHA SORRY) my family started picking on me and telling me how I ought to lose weight and that it wasn't good to be like that because "you know if you don't do something about body now you won't be slim next time????" and my bro would go "wah jie your thighs are damn big" or "omg you're damn fat" or "is that your..... okay nevermind." So yeah, during dinner my dad would see me reaching out for a certain dish and he'd tell me the cons of eating it etc etc and it really annoyed me but I didn't say anything because my dad's a rather headstrong person and he doesn't like us talking back. One day I flared up and shouted at my bro and talked back to my dad and the responses were really different I guess. My bro got the hint and cut down on the insults and my dad said I was running away from reality. (i love my dad a lot though, he's really caring and he loves us a lot just that it got really overwhelming)

My family kinda forced my to start running so one evening just to shut them up I took out my mum's track shoes & jogged around the estate even though I'd avoid the main road because I was (and still am) very aware of the way I run HAHA. For a while I actually thought I was starting to enjoy running but ok I take it back now. So around that time, I stepped onto the weighing scale on my own accord for the first time in my life. (I'm not exaggerating)

My initial reaction was "ok........." I didn't really care but I continued running anyway. Then I kinda lost some weight for a while so I realized that hey, losing weight feels good. But after school started I completely did not have time to run or exercise and I started being very very aware of my eating habits and my weight. Weighing myself became a habit - something I dreaded yet still did. I started counting calories subconsciously, and I started skipping meals at certain points of time. There was one day where I stepped onto the scale and BAM I put on 3 kg and here comes the really honest bit. I have noooo idea why but I ended up crying and when I stopped I realized I was crying over something I told myself I never would previously and ended up crying again. I started noticing everything about my body - my thighs, my tummy, my jaw, everything. I began to become self-conscious of the way my thighs looked from afar or while I was walking, and I hated my body. I hated my broad shoulders, my thighs, my arms.... you name it. I compared myself to my friends and I always felt insecure and inferior.

The worst thing was that I didn't want anyone to know. I googled 'how to lose 5 kg in a week', 'how to lose weight quickly' and I googled to find out how many calories there were in everything I ate before I put it into my mouth. I hated the person I was becoming and I hated how I didn't appreciate myself. I was ashamed of it and the fact that I was so different from the person I was or wanted to become.

ok now I've reached a point where I don't quite remember what I was supposed to type but the thing is, things are getting better :-) I don't know how I did it but I've managed to get myself out of that phase haha. I still jump rope every weekend (and I'm getting better at it!!!!!! HAHA) and I still google how to lose weight healthily, and I still do take note of calories, and there still are days where i feel like utter shit, but it's getting better :-)

my point is, the trick to happiness is to be happy with yourself and to make yourself happy. Realize that the only person you need to fully please is yourself. Stop being so self-conscious about everything and start psycho-ing yourself into seeing the beauty in you. Really, stare at yourself in the mirror and look at your features and DON'T U DARE to be humble and say you aren't pretty. I strongly believe in being humble but when it comes to this, look at yourself and acknowledge your strengths. When you accept your flaws, you turn them into your strengths :-) And also, if you feel like you're slowly losing yourself in the midst of the popularity, attention or self-hate, anchor yourself. Cut yourself from people and social networking sites if you have to, and think of the person you used to be. Stop climbing social ladders because c'mon in 2 years we're all out of the school and the only people you'll ever keep in contact are the ones who have always stuck by you.

omg I feel like I'm a completely changed person from my previous blog post(s) but it feels so so so good to be overwhelmed with positivity again :-)))))))))))))))))))))) and I think I've figured out the person I am and in a way "found myself" hehe. Also just to share some things which have made me really really really happy recently:

1. Fiona and I talked and we went home together
2. My skirts arrived
3. My family
4. Marcus, Kennedy, Clarence
5. DHTA
6. I MANNED UP AND MY IMPULSIVENESS LAST WEEK RESULTED IN STH THAT MADE ME VVV JUMPY AND HAPPY

:-)
i hope everyone has a good good week ahead
(even tho i have to wake up at 545 tomorrow lmao)

you are 17, not 71. // thoughts

You are 17 and you walk along people filled streets - clasped palms wrapped with intertwined fingers, rushed spoken words, faces flushed from love. You have never been in 2 way love; loved but never been loved. You often wonder to yourself if it was perhaps the size of your waist, the dark circles that held your oyster of your eyes, the size of your thighs or the extra lipid around your belly and arms that made boys turn away the moment they met you. "Slow and patient", your momma would say. "Good things come to those who wait." But when? When will someone finally look at you as if you held their entire world in your eyes? When will someone leave his fingerprints on the atlas of your body, whispering your name while tracing freckle to freckle to form constellations? What if nobody saw beyond the size 30 skirts you bought at Forever 21, the fact that you never wore crop tops because you never had abs - hell, you never had a flat stomach, and the fact that nobody would ever pick the dried, wrinkled raisin in a jar of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies?

You are impatient, young one. There is more to see, beyond the 4 letter word. Do not under any circumstances place your barely beating heart into the hands of someone who has butter fingers. Do not beg him to take it, to take everything, and every part of your soul. When he leaves you will have to painstakingly attach it back among the broken bones of your rib cage. Nobody is going to dive in and plant flowers within, nobody is going to uncover your demons and speak to them one by one and find out why they've been pulling you down. Do not look at girls with tiny waists, deep collarbones, locks of luscious hair, defined cheekbones, full lips, and wonder why they had everything you didn't and could only wish to have. Do not run after boys who flee after looking at your thighs. Do not give your 4am thoughts away to the boys who throw you a lifebuoy and tell you to "stop trying to breathe underwater and start to float". Do not listen to boys who tell you not to eat because you are fat. Instead, stuff a piece of your favourite cake into your mouth and tell them to shut their trap. Do not look at boys with defined abs and broad shoulders and think "I'm not good enough." Do not look at quiet, geeky boys and think "He is not good enough for me", and do not look at boys with double chins and a belly and think "Never in my life". Be humble but keep your head up - you may not have the golden ratio but you have a full heart and a soul just as full, if not, fuller. One day, a boy will come into your life and his lips will interlock with yours and it will fit like an induced fit model. His hands will wrap around yours and his thumb will rub against your knuckle when you feel alone and tired and breathless. His fingers will trace your skin, turning it to water and leaving tiny goosebumps behind. He will come into your life and it will be like finding the right keyhole to your key. He may not be part of the 3 categories above, nor may he be your "ideal one", but he will fill your head with thoughts of him, and he will bring light into the darkest areas of your body. He will listen to your demons, coax them and love you for you and your love handles, for your bruises, scars and jar of saline-filled tears collected over the years. He will swim with you and teach you how to breathe underwater so you won't drown, and he will guide you - he will trace the lines on your palm and cup your cheeks in his hands gently, and think you are beautiful. He may say it quickly and shyly, and it may pass as softly and instantaneous as the whisper of the breeze, or he may say each syllable slowly and surely for you to hear. Either way he will mean it, and he will stay.

Remember, you are 17, not 71. Wait for him.

2013

first of all, happy new year everyone!!! Here's to a better year filled with lots of laughter and joy :-) I celebrated the new year with some of my favourite people in the world and it was honestly one of the best nights yet. I suppose it's right when they say the company is what matters most, because last night was the best ending to 2013 and a such wonderful start to 2014. I remember myself sitting in front of the computer typing out a long appreciation post for the people in my life in 2012, but I've decided against it this time, mostly because of the lack of time. Nonetheless, 2013 was a great year for me, and the people around me definitely had a huge part to play. There have been times when I felt really helpless and upset with myself or everything in general, and many times when I've looked at others and wished I were them or that I had what they had. It's hard not to feel bad about yourself or envious of others in today's society when so much attention is being placed on appearance. Of course with every year comes a new beginning and I too have changed a lot since the previous year. I'm proud to say that I'm more independent, decisive and aware of my wants/ needs/ goals now. Looking back on 2013, there are certain incidents that I wish did not happen, and certain times I wish I did not react the way I did - but I guess that's the point of living in the present because if we're always fearing what the future may bring, how are we to really appreciate the essence of living?

I've never been one to make resolutions (especially new year ones) because of the fear of not being able to achieve them, but this year I'm going to include some that I've given a lot of thought to in the past week :-)

Stay thankful
I'm a really blessed and lucky girl in many ways, especially in terms of my family and friends. I believe the people we meet and keep in our lives are a huge key to being happy, and I'm grateful that I have so many amazing people in mine. Like how I mentioned earlier, there have been times when I've felt envious and insecure, but looking back, it was probably because I failed to remember what I have. This holiday, I've gone to bed with a full heart almost every night, and it's something I hope will remain in the future year(s). Also, "You could be the moon and still be jealous of the stars" - I think this is something everyone should keep in mind, that we will never be fully pleased with the way things are going for us, or even the way we look. At times like this, I choose to remember that although I may not have everything I want, I have enough and that's what matters the most.

Focus on the bigger picture
In 2013, I decided to focus on positivity and I'm glad I did. It was one of the best choices I've made, and I'm sticking to it. It's impossible to stay happy 24/7 for 365 days, but we're all human - it's okay to break down, it's okay to be not okay and it's okay to need somebody. We all need tears once in a while, to wash our eyes so we can see life with a clearer view. Most importantly, you have the right to be happy. There will be people who will try to knock you down with careless words or actions but what's most important is to keep your head up and get on your feet. Filter out unnecessary comments which will not do any good to your mood/ life, and reflect on the ones that will make you a better person. Indeed, why place your self-esteem in the hands of others?

Step out of my comfort zone
I think this speaks for itself. "Live in the present".


Before I end I think there are a couple of people I really need to thank for always pulling me up onto my feet when I hit rock bottom - you know who you are :-) Thank you for making me laugh so much till my tummy hurt, for sharing my bad times and good times, and for reminding me that I wasn't as bad as I thought I was.

Here's to 2014 and all the good moments to come x

meaningless ramblings at 12 in the morning

she saw him down the street, corner right, slouched against the russet bricked wall, with a cigarette perched between his lips

he was breathtakingly beautiful and everything about him made her feel shivers down her spine

she watched, catching her breath, enthralled as he breathed out rings of smoke from where his lips parted to form an abyss which seemed to be inviting her closer and closer and closer

he had 

mysterious grey eyes that turned her to stone when they flitted across her body, making her feel strangely and suddenly insecure

she felt like shrinking 

               sinking

                                        disappearing altogether

under his gaze

because

all of a sudden, she felt like no more than one of the infinite particles of dust in the universe

so insignificant

so small

so meaningless

while he, 

he was more than any combination of words strung together by any of the 26 letters in the alphabet

he was more beautiful than any sunrise at 7 in the morning

more comforting than the never ending blanket of stars in the night sky

and his touch

as soothing as the waves as they hold and caress you, swaying you left, right, left, right,

whispering, "you'll be safe"

the universe is an infinite sphere (him), 

the centre of which is everywhere (her senses/ thoughts/ feelings when with him), 

the circumference nowhere (her when he's gone)

filled with catastrophe

(taken and edited by cihui who wanted me to post this hehe)

4 very special people :)

 someone once told me to always 

live for the little things

in life,

live for the 5am sunrises and 5pm sunsets

where you'll see colours in the sky that don't usually belong.

live for road trips and bike rides

with music in your ears

and the wind in your hair.

live for days when you're surrounded

by your favourite people who make you realize

that the world is not a 

cold, harsh place.

live for the little things because

 they will make you realize that

this is what life is about,

this is what it means to be

alive

               (a.y)

the past week was draining, but i'm glad i managed to spend time with my books in the afternoon :) supposed to wake up at 5:30am but genius me woke up at 6:30. Mad rush to bathe and head to the bus stop where i happily hopped onto the bus only to realize it was the wrong one..... /slaps myself/

this just proves how i'm not a morning person ): got off at some random bus stop and managed to get onto another bus which brought me to the interchange (thank goodness). However, what originally could've been a 15 minutes bus ride turned into a 40 minutes journey to the interchange )':
reached school late but practiced and rehearsed for a few hours before dismissing the juniors and then did our stuff before slacking in the bb :) all of us just lay on the floor doing our own things and i remember wishing that time could stop there and then.

basically clarence was sitting at the corner fiddling with the sewing machine, kennedy and yz and ziyi and i were lying on the floor/ sofa, and jamie and marcus were lying on the floor having their mini concert :p

left the bb only when our tummies were growling away and had lunch at macs :) felt really exhausted when i got home and my brother's friends came over so i went to read in my room and ended up falling asleep on the floor. Woke up after feeling sore but continued reading till dinner :)

interclass 17/5/2013 

credits to marcus :)

interclass on thursday and friday was great!! i think everyone played well and it was really nice to see everyone playing with determination and more importantly, passion. I think those who played put in their best effort, and those who won definitely deserved to win :) congrats to 4L girls and 4C guys!!

ever since the CTs ended................ i've been feeling insanely happy at one point of time and bam before i know it i'm upset again

results are horrible, and although i do feel thankful for the fact that i didn't do worse, i can't help but feel really scared..... like everyone around me kinda knows where they want to be and what they want to do in the near future, and then there's me living in the moment not having a clue about anything that's going to happen in the next year and the next and the next. this is bad and i don't like it

sigh

i just want to be happy and worry-free and carefree for as long as i live but it's hard because poor grades = no university = no good job = no $$$$$$ = nothing

):

i want to cuddle in bed all day reading my books, watching my barbie and disney shows and eating tons of cake

but noooooooooooooooo that day will never come unless i miraculously wake up as a princess

as for now, it's time to buck up and work harder because it's true that "the world is not a wish-granting factory" 

2012

Hello!!!!

(I typed this whole post out on 31/12/12 so it was still 2012 then)

so 2012's coming to an end, and I think it's been a really good year although it's crazy how time really flew by! Actually it seems to me that each year after the previous one goes by even faster, but that's not the point. This year has definitely been one that I'd be willing to relive, and I really wnna thank the people who've always been there for me through good times or bad. In addition, I've made new friends and met new people in 2012, and I'm glad I did :)

alright, I'm starting this post off with some pictures taken with some of the most important people in my life, as well as some short messages to thank them for being part of the joy this year!  

(you can just skip all the way down if you're lazy to read all these tho! hehe)

CLARENCE/MARCUS/KENNEDY

These 3 people mean the world to me, along with my family :-) I've known Clarence since primary school, and Marcus and Kennedy since year 1. However, despite only getting to know one another better in 2010, I feel like I've known them since forever and honestly, I can't wait to make more memories with all of them in the years to come!

 w/clarence ♡

 w/kennedy ♡

w/marcus ♡

Hello guys, I think the NY texts that y'all received from me were already lengthy enough so if I were to retype everything here it would be rather naggy and what not. Besides, I think whatever I want to say to y'all are rather personal and private, but all in all, thank you for staying by me all this while, and I really love y'all so much! This year wouldn't have been as enjoyable and easy if it weren't for the 3 of you, so here's to another year and more memories made! :-) x

TRINA TUNAFISHHY

hi trinaa ♡ this is a reason why we need to have a picture together! But before you call me up to scold me for putting this picture up, listen! I think you look really cute in it! Like it's almost your typical face when you go "Pfft who cares" ;-) Anyhow, thank you bestie for always sticking by me through thick and thin. Really, I honestly wish there was a better way to thank you for being my friend and keeping our friendship going despite the fact that we aren't in the same class anymore. You've been a wonderful best friend, and I can't finish listing all the times you've stood by me and comforted me and just made me feel better in an instant. For all the phonecalls, laughter, and for the times you gave me the courage to make the right decisions, here's a huge thank you :') I know you hate cheesiness but although there may be loads of other fish in the ocean, you're the only tunafish that outshines them all. ♡ Here's to a good 2013 and I hope that all you'll achieve all your goals okay!!

YONGZI/BIEBERXC

Hey babe!!! ♡ I really wnna thank you for coming into my life, it's been a joy having you as part of it, and I look forward to the mornings where you'd call my name the moment you see me walk past your class. I love those short conversations we have before flag-raising, where I'd usually complain about how tired I am and how much I just want to go back to sleep hehe! We always have so much fun together, like when we randomly start annoying each other or linking arms and singing on the road. Also, during cca, you're always there for me and it's like, you know when I'm upset and when I'm not. Thank you for always being there and it's really amazing to know that despite only getting to know you better this year, we're already so close! I think you're really pretty and lovely and nice and funny, and basically I love you so much!!!! Here's to a good 2013 and a stronger friendship ahead :-) ♡ ♡ ♡

FIONA

Hi Miss Ng! I'm not going to acknowledge you as my wife anymore because you keep going around cheating on me hahaha. You should sign up for some loyalty classes in 2013! HAHA jk anyway, thank you for supporting me in my decisions and for making me feel much better about myself when I feel insecure and upset. I looked through the pictures we have together and I realized that we easily have 300 plus photos together, and that's why we shouldn't camwhore so much when we're out! Hehe that aside, I know we've been through hard times this year and made mistakes personally, but despite all that, I hope you're happy now :-) Thank you for all the memories made, and here's to making more in 2013 ♡ ♡ ♡

XUANZHU

Hi girlllll, thanks for coming into my life this year, it's been an amazing journey with you around, and your epic moments never fail to make me smile or laugh!! Lessons become more bearable knowing that you're suffering with me hahaha!! you're really cute and lovable so stop feeling insecure about yourself okay!! I know there were times this year when you were prolly at your lowest, but I hope that talking to me during those times helped ♡ I know 2013 will be another great year with you in my life, and also, here's to more joy and happiness in yours. X

LORAINE

Hello Choo!!! I think sitting beside you this year was really one of the best things that happened :-) You're really sweet and funny and most importantly, I love how you always dare to voice out your thoughts on people and I love it when you openly express your love for DB5K and your Jaejoong! I think you're a really cool person, and thank you for cheering me up with pocky when I was down, as well as for the times where you'd give me advice or encourage me to work harder. You're a really huge inspiration in terms of studies and personality wise, I love you!! ♡

MY GIRLS

Hi loves, I know the 2 of you will see this, so I just want to thank y'all for being there for me when I was really upset and when i needed a break from my problems etc etc. Thank you Alicia for picking up the phone when I really needed a listening ear, and for texting me to cheer me up! We've been through sooo much since we were little girls, and I'm positive that the bond between the 3 of us will never change. I love the 2 of you so much, and every outing spent with y'all never fails to make me really happy at the end of the day. I love how we will always be out with the rest of the aunts and all the other cousins, but out of all 16, we're the closest. Hopefully 2013 will be a better year for both of you, since Ruiting, you keep saying you wnna go back to school! You crazy girl, you never fail to make me laugh at your silly actions and the way you make people's day. And Alicia, I'll always be here for you, so no matter what or whenever you need someone to listen, I'm just a phonecall or text away! 

EDS

And when I say "EDS", I don't just mean our batch, I also mean the seniors and juniors, whether from dance or drama. I don't think I've ever made a better decision in DHS other than joining this cca, because right now, it means so much to me than just cca itself. It's a family, and one I know will be there for me when I need them :-) Thank you for all the good experiences not just in 2012, but from 2010 :-) ♡♡♡♡♡♡

MY FAMILY

my parents, my aunt and my brothers are one of the greatest joys in my life, and I love them so very much!! Thank you for always going to great lengths to make me happy, I know y'all spoil me a lot, and I really really love all of you :') ♡♡♡♡ 

and to both my brothers, thank you for being my companions in life HAHA. But really, despite all the fights and quarrels we have, I'd never trade the 2 of you for any other guys in the world :-) Especially Jinhao, you've changed a lot since the beginning of the year, and now you're more mature, taller, and skinnier! Nonetheless, thank you for always being the protective and caring one, such that I know I can always depend on you :-) i love you so much too, and I want you to know that I'm really grateful to have you in my life.

last but not least, thank you to 3E for being such an enjoyable and lovely class :-) I look forward to stepping into 4E in a few day's time!!

and also, thank you to everyone who has helped me in even the simplest way, even if you made my day with a compliment or a friendly "hi", or made me laugh at jokes, or helped me with my studies, THANK YOU SO MUCH :-) I remember telling myself on 31/12/11 that I wasn't going to type out another long list of "thank you messages" because it was really long-winded, and I recall Marcus calling me to tell me "EH you make it sound like it's the last day on earth!" or something like that, but this year really taught me to be more appreciative of what I have right now. These messages really came from the bottom of my heart and I mean everything I said!

On a side note, I know that I may have drifted from some people, or stopped talking to some altogether, but despite all these, thank you for being part of my year in some way or another :-) If we drifted away, I promise I'll make extra effort to keep our friendship going, and if we stopped talking sometime this year because of any particular reason, I believe you were also part of the happiness at one point of time.

So here's wishing everyone a happy new year and may 2013 be filled with truckloads of love, happiness and blessings :-) x